The Chronicles of Gene

Caveat: It wasn't me who picked the fight, I'd never bad mouth a 90 lbs crack head dancing on a shitty stage in Kamloops.... no never.

So I know you're all thinking "Gene, how can I Joe Reader pick a fight with a stripper I'm just an average person I just don't think I can do something like that", well let me tell you that yes you can do this. You have the ablity to reach greatness too! Well before you can reach this kind of greatness you must start your adventure on your mother's deck drinking more beer, with your brother and two friends, then should be humanly possible. Now this step alone might seem a little daunting at first but that's why you have the brother and two friends for support. They'll be able to give you boost of confidence like "Drink you pussies!" "God hates a coward", wait that was my mother yelling that at us all.... geez mom! So now you should have a good drunk going on, now at the is point your in a happy mood all is good and you look around and realize that you now need your protagonist and as if on cue in enters your brothers girlfriend. That's right you fools it's not you that picks the fight with the stripper, it's some hormonally juiced up human also known as a female... face it their all crazy.

So it's now at the stage of the game that you've lost one friend in the group cause his emotionally unbalanced better half has called for the 6th time informing him that she's at HIS parents house and HE should be there too and not drinking at Gene and Charlies.... priorities geez woman! So it's now when your at your most vulnerable and your brothers girlfriend suggests you all go to the strippers. At first you think "NO NOT NAKED WOMEN!" then you start giggling as if you just had a great fart as you tie up your shoes and race for the car screaming "Mom could you get me a road pop!", she says no so I have to go all the way to the fridge myself. You get to the strippers and you must I repeat YOU MUST be sitting in gyno row. The night goes on, it's one ugly stripper after another and you joke that you could dance better then these women. Over the loud speakers the announcer says "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome our last dancer of the night", ends up she's maybe a buck O five and looks a little strung out, this is soon confirmed. So the stripper starts yelling at the crowd about their being wetness on the stage and complains she might slip and isn't covered by WCB. We laugh cause honestly WTF I don't want to hear you talk about WCB, just shake your ass and titties! Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking this cause from across the stage a few young gentlemen yell something similar at her, which invokes Stripper Girl to throw ice cubes at the crowd and freaking the fuck out. Now it's here is the critical time for someone to be singled out so your brothers girlfriend should start yelling back at her now. They end their verbal "discussion" with the stripper going "I'll meet you outside bitch" we all laugh thinking she won't be there and we decide we should leave before the big fuckers in the back that are pointing at us decide they should come and meet us. So we do and guess what Stripper Girl is fucking actually waiting out there with four guys. Ends up the four guys are pussy's and don't do shit, but stripper girl takes a few swings at the brothers girlfriend and at my buddy while I'm trying to drag my drunken brother into the car cause he figures his pimp hand is strong, and all I can think about is a chappalle skit where he calls the Count a pimp "Biatch how many times must I smack you before you act right! One *whack* ha ha ha Two *whack* hahaha Two Two Smacks!"

So yeah if you can follow these easy rules you too can be part of a picking a fight with a stripper.