The Continuous Chronicles of Gene

I Love the Okanagan

2008-03-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

This one will be short and sweet, but it's simple I love where I live. Kelowna, BC is the place to be living, the beautiful Okanagan. The springs are great, the summers are full of activities and sun, fall is warm and winter is what winter is suppose to be... full of snow.

On Sunday I got the chance to sneak up to Big White for 3.5 hours of snowboarding, and damn were the conditions awesome. There is still over 250 cm base, fresh powder and all the sun and blue sky I could handle. Was just what the doctor ordered, me, my iPod and my board. It was my second time going up solo and just like the first I had a total blast. Something about shredding down the hill while listening to tunes was zen like. I wasn't over thinking boarding I was just boarding and as a result it was some of my best to date. I was burning through the moguls with no problem, usually they spank me if I attempt then with some speed. I was going faster then I've gone before, getting air of the rollers was awesome and a first. Tried the T-Bar for the first time ever and was disappointed I had done it sooner. Some of the funnest riding was between the tree tops up there, great snow lots of variety, it was just the kind of conditions a young man dreams about. I got smart and brought my camera this time as there is always some point in the day I wish I had it with me, and Sunday was no different.

Here's a few of my shots of the day.

Who Watch How I Met Your Mother Tonight?

2008-03-24T22:51:00.001-07:00

Who watch How I Met Your Mother Tonight? Of course you did cause Britney Spears was on it tonight! Oh my god BRITNEY! BRITNEYGASM .... yawn. The network was hyping this episode up so much, everyone was going on and on about how she was just so spectacular she was, yada yada yada.

I know somehow I seem to always be bitching about Britney getting her shit together, and don't get me wrong she seemed very together for a change and this rant is actually not about her but it's about how much hype there was around this 30 minutes of glory. You know when a movie trailer shows all the best parts of the movie, but you only realize this after you've wasted the $10, well that was tonight's episode with Britney. I found myself going "There's got to be something pivotal with her coming up" but it never did. All 5 lines she had was not worth the freakin bullshit prime time hype. She played a very minor role in the entire story... heres the end Barney fucks her cause it's what Barney does. The real story was with Ted and the cute blonde doctor from Scrubs ... yes Becky Connor (Five points if you can tell me where that reference is from).

It was a great show, laughed my ass off but deep down I was once again disappointed by another American Corporate attention whore machine begging for my time, and to it I say bugger off! It was like being in bed with a chick from the bar claiming to be a real dirty bitch and just as she's about to go down on you she goes "Yeah you like that cause this is my first time, am I doing good? Are you going to call me again? Can we just cuddle?", basically leaves you half hard and confused and where's the fun in that?

You went away for 3 months and you try to win me back with this? I think I'll just stick to my Thursday night line up and get back to Guitar Hero 3 thank you very much at least it knows how to make me happy!

The Sands of Time

2007-12-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

Here I sit at my desk reading some email thinking to myself it's been far too long since I wrote on either of my blogs lately, this one and asquad.ca. Why? Have I been too busy to spare 10 to 20 minutes a month to say hi or rant about some washed up celebrity? Apparently.... how sad is that.

This post isn't about Britney or Lindsey, they get enough attention as it is, this is about me and where I am compared to December 04, 2006. So much has changed this year, so much has happened sometimes I can't even comprehend it all. Last year I was still living with Ryan, I was working 14 hour days 5 days a week and including a 8 hours on Saturday. Was waiting for the hill to be open. Was waiting for the work to be done. Ran myself down past the point I couldn't even see the line anymore, was so focused on getting ahead at work. Was getting ready to move into a new apartment with Tasha and the girls. Was one of the top producing Account Managers at work and was out selling the salesmen, that part was fun ;).

Now I sit here it's December 4, 2007 and what have I accomplished? What did I do that made me enjoy my life? What have I done to make others laugh? What have I done to make others feel loved?

Well, Big White opened and me and Ryan made great use of our pass. It was the only thing which allowed us to blow the stress of work at the time off. I moved into 302 with Tasha and the Girls. Had my first Christmas as a family, it was fun watching the girls tear through their presents and play with the small stuff. Work didn't settle down until about the beginning of March, sadly it had stayed my top priority instead of making myself the top priority. It had devastating consequences. I lost my drive for improving myself, lost all the gains I had made at the gym, lost my self confidence and my ability to deal with stress. Almost lost my relationship more then once due to situations at home which would blow up when they didn't need to. Overall I was a miserable cunt hiding it all one joke at a time.

I eventually realized what was going on and went about to getting my drive to improve me back, it was up to me and only me to find happiness in my life again. I had to realize my actions and energy was completely and utterly disgusting to me, I remember saying to myself more then once "Gene, if Gene from 2006 could see you he'd bitch slap you! Get your shit back together you know this will not lead to an amazing life". It's been an up hill battle, especially in the beginning, there were a few slide backwards but I wasn't going to let it be prolonged. I stood my ground and pushed forward. I got back to writing down my goals again and trying to use positive peer pressure to help achieve them and applying a consequence for not meeting them. If I don't meet a goal, that's $50 to a charity or to Tasha to spend, either way it goes against my financial goals of saving and not spending on unintended expenses. So far so good.

Realizing I need to go to the gym at least 4 times a week or else the stress just starts to bubbling up to the top and gets to me very quickly. Since September I've been very focused when it comes to going to the gym. My body is returning to it's former glory once again. I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Tasha got me a Flash journal from Chapters to keep track of my workouts and I must say it's really helped me push myself and motivate me to push more then the week before. It may be funny but having the Flash staring at me just makes me go harder, it works for me so why fight it! I haven't had the plateau like I used to after a couple months, the weight keeps going up, the intensity gets higher and as a result my body is in great shape. I never used to like cardio before but I've found a new love for it and the burn it can bring, no more dogging it on the stationary bike at level 5.

Reading, damn I forgot how much I enjoyed doing it. I've been reading a few of Robin Sharma's books and it's really helped motivated me to learn more and read more about improving myself and inspiring others to achieve greatness. Re-read the body for life, currently re-reading the automatic millionaire again. Lately I've been listening to Tony Robbin's Get the Edge series and taking a ton of notes along the way, if you haven't truly listened to any of his stuff I highly recommend it. His energy is amazing and I find with each portion I listen to I want to listen to more.

Aside from improving myself it's been a busy year, had a few really great guy trips. Me and a few friends rented a cabin up at Postil lake and had a blast, think it's become an instead annual guys trip for the summer. Went house boating on Shuswap lake with Tasha and 22 other people. We meet some amazing people we didn't know and had a time of our lives, it was one of the biggest highlights of the summer without a doubt. We are going again in 2008 August Long, can't wait for it. Of course went to Merritt Mountain Fest again, I think it was the last year though cause they are changing the format and it just wasn't as fun as years past. First night at Merritt I find Ryan and Charlie down in the beer gardens in Camp C and we go get a beer and the girls behind the bar already know them both by name. I got a great laugh out of it.

We had the 4th annual guys weekend up at Sun Peaks and this year we had enough guys to rent a big ass cabin up there. We brought a keg down with us and more boys from Acro. First night we got just out of control, a bunch of Deano's friends from the hill came over and we got the party going. Lots of drinking, some boat races, drinking games and tons of laughs about jokes only guys would love. Somehow this chick ended up hanging around with us, and by hanging around us I mean trying to convince any of us to fuck her. I've never seen one girl throwing it out there and not a single guy in the place was picking it up. We mocked her, we made jokes at her expense, we got more drunk and load about the jokes and she stuck around. She was on a mission, got to give her an A for effort. She thought me and Jon were hot stuff and wouldn't leave us alone so we said "Hey lets go in the hot tub", she said she didn't bring a bathing suit we said "Neither did we, go get changed!". She went upstairs got the major hottie shirt and came down in only that. At this point me and Jon laugh, run down stairs put our shoes on and run outside and hid behind this storage shed and drank. We got to listen to her in the hot tub with Deano, Shane and Ryan going "Where's gene and jon?". We thought it was funny as hell and went back in the house for more booze. Long story short Dean ended up nailing her, he's a trooper! Me and Micah thought it would be funny to kick the door open and take pictures of her in his room (don't worry we used the handle to open the door). God damn it was a fun weekend. The second night we ended up at the owner's of Mac Daddy's 45th birthday party, we somehow crashed it and didn't get kicked out it was a great time, lots of food and some good tunes and laugh.

Me and Tasha went and saw Syliva Brown in Vancouver, that was a fun little date trip with just the two of us. She didn't feel good so we didn't get to crazy down there but we had fun none the less. Stayed right down town so we had stuff to do.

How could a year in review be complete with out the biggest change in my young life. I became a foster parent. That's right I became a foster parent to a 2 month old baby. The process which me and Tasha went through was long and very tedious, it took us over 9 months to get to the point where we had our first placement. We went to more courses then I could count, all of them mandatory but the majority of time I was one of the only men at them which annoyed me for more then one reason. Regardless it's been amazing going through the process of having a baby around which is totally dependent on you. I can truly say it's helped change my outlook on life and has helped me reduce my stress in life by just taking a step back and realizing I need to relax.

He's not the only baby in the house, Tasha also bought me Lucy. She's a Manx kitten, but growing very quickly into a Manx Cat. As RyRy says "She's a Manx with no tail". She's been a great additional to the family, we all love her very much even though she begs for food worse then any dog I've seen. She can be a stinkier but she is the most chill cat I've ever met, the girls drag her all over and she just goes with it. Very affectionate and damn cute. Everyone who sees her just loves her, she's got a great personality.

Overall it's been a crazy year with tons of ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I look forward to what the next year brings. Oh and I just got promoted at Acro to Software Supervisor so it's the first chapter to the year here, guess all that hard work got acknowledged.

America the Great Dictatorship

2007-10-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

Every since I was in school learning about great society's and empires and their eventual fall from grace. They fall eventually, it almost always came down to the simple fact that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Well my friends to the south, the title says it all, and I would like to it noted that the Dick part is strongly emphasized. Over your 200+ years your current governmental system it has slowly and intentionally subverted you back into country of oppressed rights and liberties.

I somehow today stumbled on to this video which is available from Google Video about Terror throughout the world, TerrorStorm Deluxe, and who is really behind all the bullshit. Powerful men are hiding behind closed doors making schemes to cause "situations" which will scare the masses into willingly give up their own powers and freedoms. The American people are constantly being scared into allowing these people in power to do whatever they want. It's easy to keep people dumb and not be critical thinkers when the primary news items are how Britney Spears thinks her Judge is mean and how Paris Hilton isn't making publicity stunts lately. The big game media players don't want to report on important issues which are drastically changing their country. When Mr. Bush can go on national television and declare he is above the law and will continue to spy on his own people or "apply pressure" to the "enemy", by the way that's their code for torturing the enemy but torture is illegal pressure isn't ;), and then bullshit you all into this idea in which the US Military and the Republican party are bringing democracy to Iraq is quite laughable. Mr. Bush, maybe you should first bring democracy back to your own country, just a thought.

There are many examples of democracy being systematically stripped away, wasn't it just a month ago Mr. Bush veto a bill which ahd past through a democratic system, both the senate and congress, to ensure your children would receive medical care. It was veto'd on the premises it would cost too much, hell we wouldn't want it to get in the way of the additional $200+ billion he demanded approval for to continue killing your sons and daughters and the hundreds of thousands of innocent Iragies since the "War on Terror" started. The only thing this war is proving is America the Great is the worlds greatest terrorist.

From 2000 to now they have gone in and bombed the shit out of two countries. The first one was a directed as vengeance for the horrible attacks which occurred on 9/11. Well how long was the US Military actually in Afghanistan before they head to Irag? Under a year and they didn't even catch the CIA agent which they went there to capture. Yes, Bin Laden is a CIA agent hell last item I read he's secret alas was still an active. Afghanistan was a jump off point to get the military firmly in the middle east nothing more, and now it's up to the Canadians to clean up the American's mess in that country, big surprise.

I find it increasingly humorous the big talking heads from the White House are going on the attack against Iran for maybe having weapons of mass destruction, cause they were so sure about Irag to the point where they had to "find" data... and by "find" I mean pull it out of their asses and falsify information. Everyone seems to be forgetting the United States of America is still building new nuclear weapons to add to their existing arsenal, why do they have over 2600 nuclear weapons is beyond me, and have developed some of the must devastating biological weapons ever conceived by man. The only purpose for weapons like these is to destroy large swaths of all living creatures on this planet.

The things I see going on in this world make me mad everyday because I can stop and realize the wool is being pulled over the faces of so many. Propaganda is running rampant right now, media is filling our minds with useless shit. Stop, think and learn people it's your responsibility and only then will you win your rights of freedoms back. The societies which are losing their freedom of rights are not standing up for themselves enough, everyone is sitting around waiting for a someone else to do it for them. Get off your fat McDonald ridden asses and stand up for yourself, this goes for more then just Americans it goes to us all. Get educated about what really is happening, evict the ignorance, the fear and the false bliss and step in to reality and take responsibility for your actions and how they are effecting and will effect this world and the one we leave to the next generations.

If you want to see where the current American government is heading do some research into how Nazi Germany came to be and you will see many similarities which I hope make you sick and realize the truth.

Britney Spears Train wreck on MTV MVA's

2007-09-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

If anyone had the chance to watch Britney Spears in the MTV awards show last night, you will all understand why her name will continue to be in the tabloids. I had a brief moment of hope for Brit when I heard her new single, I found myself tapping my foot and bobbing my head to the beat. How dare she make me enjoy her catchy club music! I got over it.

Sadly Brit's song must of been a studio only track based on her performance she gave last night. To say she looked like a lost puppy on the highway would be an under statement. The song if you haven't heard it yet is called Gimme More, it's fast and up beat, Brit was anything but that. She moved so slow it was actually painful watch, I say move because what she was doing was far from dancing. Her backup dancers were ripping it up while she shuffled stepped around the stage. The highlight of her routine was when one of the backup dancers got to feel her up, I'm sure he felt special.

Who ever was in charge of Brit's wardrobe should be fired on the spot. I suspect they were going for sexy but they missed the mark by I'd say about a good 3.5 to 4.5 years. The outfit simply just didn't go with her body type and it didn't get the response from my wang I'm sure it was suppose to. In fact my wang wants to write an angry letter to management about the incident. Like come on a sequined bra and panties on a chick who's curves have long faded, it was just wrong!

Ashley Simpson got in so much flack for lip syncing but this seems to be the least of the comments flying around the internet. It was a worse lip sync job since Rihanna was on "So you think you can dance". Brit had to be on something cause she was moving in slow motion, they didn't zoom in on her for a reason and she would cover her mouth and I'm sure it wasn't just cause her breath was a little ripe.

Brit my plea goes out to you to clean up your life girl, you had such promise and you can do so much better. You still have a chance to turn your life around, look at Robert Downey Jr. he's freakin Iron Man now so if he can do it so can you. Stop pushing your support away, listen to your mother and take care of those kids and the masses will soon forget as they always do.

To checkout the performance from YouTube:

One Man's Review: Transformers the Movie

2007-07-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

This is to any critic who may have bashed Michael Bay for Transformers... GET A NEW JOB cause you suck.

Now on to the review!

I am not going to provide any spoilers to this movie as I believe it needs to be enjoyed by the audience member.

We got to the theater today for the 8:30 pm PST showing of TRANSFORMERS the Movie an hour early, and half the theater was full already. The anticipation for this event was insane, everyone was just so damn eager to see this movie. This was a movie based on the toys and cartoons which shaped many of our young lives and there was a lot riding on it. If it was great it was going to be FACKING AMAZING, but if it wasn't great it was going to suck and suck hard.

After waiting for an hour the lights dimmed, there was a hush over the crowd, then the longest damn commercial package anyone had ever seen started playing. It was just teasing us, making us wait, it wasn't going to just give up the goods until we were in a relationship.... so we lied to it and it finally gave up the goods and oh it was soooo sweet.

Right from the get go I knew this movie as going to be GREAT! It started off with the attack on the army base in the middle of the desert, the one from the preview with where the helicopter lands and then lays waste. From that point on I was hooked and begging for more.

This movie delivered on so many fronts, the action was amazing, the CG was out of this world, a story that will forever be part of my life and it had great moments of comedic genius. To top it off there were some amazingly beautiful women in this movie, Megan Fox, and here is Megan Fox in a few other maxim shots, I would sell my best friend on the black market if you asked me to and Rachel Taylor you made geeks everyone go to fantasy land thinking you just might be in their class one day.

For anyone who thought the robots themselves may be poorly done, this is not the case. The crew at ILM did not only met my very high expectations but far exceeded them. The movement was fluid, the transforming reminded me of what being a kid was like again, and to top it off they were able to emote like any other actor on the screen.

Mr. Bay, if you somehow ever stumble upon this blog please know your movie changed my life. I will for the rest of time be using this movie as my new meter stick. I've seen most of the other "SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS" and sir yours made them drop to their knees and ask who's turn it is next ... if you catch my drift ;). Spider Man 3 was OK, it wasn't great but it was far from bad. Pirates 3 ... as my friend put it, he wouldn't use his own bandwidth to pirate this movie. Shrek 3, sure you were cute and animated but it could always be better. Fantastic Four, once again OK but not great. At no point in any of those movies did the entire audience stand and show their appreciation for being completely entertained. Mr. Bay your movie did something no other movie I've every seen do, and that was make the entire audience stand up, clap, cheer and roar to show just how great the performance was. I wish the actors could've heard it. There were two showings of the movie in our town and I had friends in the other and he said the same thing happened in there also.

This movie grabbed my attention, no scratch that it demanded my attention and I fully gave it for the entire length of the movie. Transformers destroyed my out of 10 scale, the only way I can rate this movie is by saying I will pay money to go see it again at the theaters. I've only ever done that once before and it was for Armageddon, and in case you didn't know that was also a Michael Bay movie.

If you haven't seen this movie, go see it. If you are a critic who ragged on this movie, please do not hesitate to have your friend or one of your co-workers come kick you in the junk so you remember what a complete and utter mistake feels like.

This movie couldn't have been casted better, all these actors and actresses made magic on the screen. Go and get to know them all!:
Shia LaBeouf - Sam Witwicky
Megan Fox - Mikaela Banes
Peter Cullen - Optimus Prime
Josh Duhamel - Sergeant Lennox
Tyrese Gibons - USAF Tech Sergeant Epps
Rachel Taylor - Maggie Madsen
Anthony Anderson - Glen Whitmann
Jon Voight - Defense Secretary John Keller
John Turturro - Agent Simmons

How To: Increase Your Media Coverage

2007-05-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

If there is one name I can't stand to hear one more freaking time it is ... Paris Hilton, we'll call her PH to save some sanity, and plus she doesn't deserve to have my fingers type her name again.

PH exemplifies what is wrong with America, just because she's famous she thinks she is above the law and shouldn't be going to jail for breaking the law. If you broke the law they'd slam your ass in jail so fast it would make your head spin. Honestly can you tell me what makes this skinny blonde better then you? Having a grandfather and a father who have busted their asses to make their own fortunes do not count. The only thing PH has been busting are nuts for fame.

When I read the article about her trying to blame her public relations guy for her being a retard I just sat and laughed. PH, you are a big girl now and it's time you learn to take responsibility for your actions. Everyday of your life isn't being aired on a FOX show, but then again you are talking to Nicole anymore because that bitch thought she was cute or something. Some nerve hey PH.

For all of you people out there trying to get the Govenator to stop PH from going to jail you need to be examined by professionals. Are you telling me your own self esteem is so low you would look to this spoiled brat as a role model? What kind of role are you trying to strive for? You think one day you too will be able to have your cooter exposed as you leave a limo? Maybe your cooter will make front page on a bunch of magazines and web sites? Don't count on it, that spot is reserved for PH and her gang of drunken misfits and washed out stars.

To the media covering this three ring circus I have only one question, why? Sure she will inherit a shit load of money one day but I'll bet she will have it spent by the time she's 40. Are you that desperate for an audience you would pimp this barbie doll harder then Snoop used to pimp the ho's from the corner. Yeah sure you make a conversational piece for the water cooler but at the end of the day all you are doing is highlighting to all of the simple minded Americans that they too can be a retard, drink and drive and then try their best to not go to jail. Instead of pointing out positive and important issue the American media bends over backwards to prove time and time again America is nation of sheltered citizens, we'll call them sheep for now.

I'm sorry to be so brutal but it's a serious issue, no one is above the law. NO ONE. The laws are there to keep our civilization in check and to make sure if you do harm to someone it's accounted for. Now I'm the first to admit the laws are getting out of control and we need to get back to a point where responsibility for actions need to rest on the shoulders of the person who committed the action. Regardless they are what they are and we can fight to right that wrong another time.

Lets just remember the next time some big hockey star drinks and drives and kills his friend, or next time some big star drinks and blames the Jews for all the problems of the world, or the next time some over rated blonde gets caught not once but multiple times driving while under the influence that the laws were written for them also!

How To: Be Tricked into Sex

2007-04-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

Now as I was reading the many great articles found on fark and I saw a title which grabbed my attention and held on for dear life. "Hey baby, I need you to put some medical cream on my penis. Oh, and I need to rub it around inside of you. Ok? Cool", you can't tell me you wouldn't click on it to hear the full story, if you can you are a damn dirty liar!

This is a classic story of girl meets boy, boy is a pilot stationed in girls city, girl gets strange white spots showing up in her... well down there, boy somehow convinces girl that he needs to apply cream to his penis and put it in her to apply it properly. It's the basic structure for any good love story.... well at least a comedy.

So basically this pilot, Fadi Sbano, meet this teacher from Haverfordwest. I'd imagine they grew some kind of friendship because she felt more then comfortable tell Mr. Sbano about her strange white spots which were appearing in her swim suit area. Now let me remind you this woman is a teacher, so she is responsible for the development of your children, at least we know who to blame now.

Mr. Sbano told Ms. Teacher he knew a gyno and he said the best way to treat her condition was for him to apply some sort of cream to the end of his ding-a-ling and penetrate her to apply the cream. Apparently this was the only way to apply cream to the inside of a woman.... I know I know we've all tried this bit and you're just jealous he found a dumbass that it worked on.

So Ms. Teacher, being the A student she is, agreed since this guy knew a gyno and it just sound so legit. To make even better, he would bring a clock to time sessions because his gyno friend said they have to do it for 10 minutes sometimes, sometimes it has to be fast, sometimes it has to be gentle .... but then he's going to fuuuuuuuuck heeeeer haaaaaard. (Sorry was listening to Tenacious D).

Ms. Teacher went along with this for nine months. NINE FREAKIN MONTHS. What does she do after nine months of consensual sex, that's right she lawyers up and is trying to get him charged with rape, to be exact rape by deception. Now I know you must be wondering why she finally stopped this consensual sex from happening, she actually ran into Mr. Sbano gyno friend and guess what.... he's not a freaking gynecologist. I'm shocked, stunned and taken back by this revelation. He didn't actually know a gynecologist, no way, you mean he just told her that so he could put his penis in her.... get out of town.

What happens now is Ms. Teacher realizes she is only cut out to be the head greeter at Walmart and decides to charge this guy. Ms. Teacher, you are a prime example of what is wrong with this society. No longer do people have to take responsibility for their actions, and why should they, when society makes it so easy to pass it off on to someone else. Lady you are a dumbass, honestly everyone just happens to have ten appendages that would've done just as good of a job as this guys cock, but apparently you couldn't think of that at the time. Something tells me it wasn't all "clinical sessions" as your lawyer states. I hope this get thrown out of court and your friends mock you for being duped into sex for nine months to cure your rash.

And Mr. Sbano, if a chick has white spots coming from her woowhoo don't, and I repeat don't put your dick in her. Read the signs jackass, good thing it was only typhoid.... possibly but no one knows for sure.

And as for the writer of the article, get a dictionary you spelled gynecologist wrong.

Now that's an Obamanation!

2007-03-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

After a long days work I decided to settle down and read a few articles from my favorites sites, the Big Digg and Fark. Digg had the typical shit, few funny posts but nothing that really interested me.

So I headed on over to Fark, at least I'd get to find out that Duke still sucks... and suck they do ahahahaha. To side track for a second, one of my best friends is a big Duke fan, boy was he crying about their lose it was a great day when I got to mention to him I saw on Fark that indeed, Duke does still suck!

Anyways back to the Obamanation heard around the nation! Luckly it was only the United States so nobody else really got their knickers in a knot over it. As I'm reading along the Fark headlines I find this gem.

"When a Chicago radio host tried to trademark the phrase "It's an Obamanation" the federal government mysteriously sent him "disgusting" sexual photos and text as part of its rejection"

This immediately got my attention and I just had to click the link, click here.

Synopsis of the article is two radio DJ's Cisco Cotto and John Howell are trying to raise some money for local charities and jumped on the Barack Obama bandwagon and came up with this little gem "It's an Obamanation!". Now the spin here is they tired to copyright their catch phrase and the trademark attorney Karen K. Bush basically responded stating their use of obamanation is an abomination and could be disparaging to Barack Obama. Now keep in mind the Bush namesake is only given to a quick wittied, strong intellectual type... ahahahaha sorry I couldn't keep typing with a straight face. Karen decided it would help her case by attaching screen shots of sites she found fit the word abomination and then one of a google search for Barack Obama.

As I'm reading this fine article from World Net Daily I'm thinking to myself, damn these guys must of saw some barbaric, terrifyingly, insane and I quote "pretty disgusting, unorthodox sexual device", due to how they were not describing one of the screen shots Karen sent to them. Throughout the article Cotto goes on to cry about how he couldn't describe the object to his friends due to the graphic nature, and he dare not describe it on the air or he may be canned, or get a swift kick in the ass from the FCC. Hell he couldn't bare to bring the topic even home to his wife for she may never recover, basically it was American zealots at their crazy whiny best to try to gain sympathy for this horrible injustice which was graphically depicted.

Frankly at this time I can't think of enough ass related jokes to stick in this section so I'm going to cut to the chase. Karen had included in her email a screen shot from Wikipedia about ...... *queue scary, horrific and unorthodox music" ... BUTT PLUGS ... *cut music* daa daa daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! No really go check out the email https://home.comcast.net/~ciscanna/Obamanation%20Email.htm.

The way these guys were describing the images I was picturing some mid-evil torture device, but it was a freakin' purple butt plug. Now don't get me wrong I'm not pro-butt plug at all but it is doesn't conjure up visions of middle evil torture, but after these two school girls finished vaguely describing it I had to giggle... much like a school girl would... over the image I saw. Come on folks the guy said he had trouble explaining it to his wife and wouldn't dare describe it on air because he didn't want to lose his job? WTF mate! What's up his arse? ;) (I knew I'd get on in there eventually)

To Karen I tip my hat, it takes a brave person to research for her next "Ladies Party" at work and then attach the screen shot to a rejection later about disparaging and disrespectful content, oh how I love irony. Now when ever I see poor Mr. Barack Obama on TV or on a web site I'm not going to be able to not think of anything but butt plugs. Maybe Karen has some pro-butt plug agenda she is trying to push every chance she gets, but honestly Karen just be like everybody else and start a blog no need to send some nancy's a link about butt plugs just to get some air time for your wild butt plug theories and issues!

For the direct link to wikipedia, click here, to funny.

"Boo Hoo I'm Digg Fan Boy" cries the virgin

2007-02-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

"Boo Hoo I'm Digg Fan Boy" cries the virgin.

Now don't get me wrong I think Digg is a great site because I visit it myself daily and watch diggnation religiously, even though I should be concentrating on work. Digg has revolutionized how aggritate style sites operate. No longer is it a few uber geeks siting around reviewing posts before going to the home page, *cough* slashdot *cough*. Slashdot had it's day in the sun, hell it was way more then a day they ruled the tech news sites with an iron fist, slashdot was the place to be, the slashdot effect was notorious for making sites crumble to their knees in shame.

Then Digg came along and stole their thunder with this idea of letting the members of the site vote on stories and let those votes determine which ones make it to the home page. Like WOW (not WoW, if you get this or know the acronym ..... I'm sorry ;) ) you just gave the people the power and they ran with it. No longer does a site feel the pain of the slashdot effect but now the get dugg in to a big hole and buried until the site admins can convince their hosting company to bring them back to life.

The people have made Digg a reality and a force to be reckoned with. Pick any story on Digg and you will see a thriving community. A loyal community. A passionate community. A fan boy community, which could only be rivaled by the Apple fan boy community. I can already hear it now there will be fan boys going "I love Apple and Digg both! Kevin loves apples too! We are one and the same! How dare you ... blah blah blah Digg blah blah blah".

I had almost forgotten what a bunch of whiny cry baby fan boys, and girls, could be. Anytime anyone tries to mimic Digg the fan boys FREAK THE FUCK OUT!@#@!#. If you ever met one I dare you to bring up Netscape, holy christ they'd shit all over themselves just trying to get out how pissed off they are at Netscape. I think what these zealots forget is copying something someone has done, extremely well, is the most sincere form of flattery.

Take for example this story about Yahoo Autos using a Digg style voting system, check it out, they couldn't help but point out they were knocking off Digg's theme and voting system. Hell the Yahoo blog admits to it. If I was Kevin Rose I'd be laughing my ass off and sitting back and watching all the other sites scramble because someone came up with something inventive which doesn't link back to the 90's.

Fan boys on the other hand damn near freak out at the audacity of these other sites. For example this is the first comment on the Yahoo story "That's f00ked up. I can't believe that.". Honestly though at least once a week they are fumbling all over themselves to bash another site trying to use Digg's style of voting on content. Seriously fan boys, pull up your skirts and get on with life because, dare I say this, there will be something bigger and better then Digg but for the mean time why not go back to what you do best and bashing each other about how many cats you really have or some other crazy shit and leave the copy cats alone, they already feel bad enough for being so far behind.

And for the people in the community taking a stand against the crazy ass fan boys I salute you.

BANGARANG!

2007-01-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Post may contain traces of nuts!

Sometimes a guy just has to bust out and get silly and toss a few brews back and let it all hang out. Well the evening didn't start like that, I was driving my boys and girl from a dinner party to a house party. All of them had a good glow going, hell Ryan and Sean were more then glowing.

Show up at the house party and everyone is in the living room playing some drinking games to get to know each other and loosen up a bit. I grab one of my beers and get into playing games and bustin a few jokes here and there. Then I heard the words which always, I repeat always, end with a Gener story. What words are these you ask, well they are "Man we got to get him drunk cause he's way funnier!".

By beer two I wasn't feeling the beers and I was feeling like getting my drink on, so out came the Rye. Me + Rye = silly shit happening.

So all the drinking games have ended and by now I'm well into my old fun self, it was nice to know he still existed, and at some point the conversation turns to topics such as the brain, bat wing and the infamous goat. If these terms escape meaning for you, then for the love of god rent Waiting with Ryan Reynolds.

It's at this point Johnny goes "hehehehe I dare you to give the people on the deck the brain". Who am I to back away from a dare involving innocent people and my balls? Someone hits the lights on the deck, I'm behind the curtain preparing and then BAM! I jump out from behind the curtain and expose them to the brain. The best part of it was the look on their face, first the look of curiosity of why the lights are on and some guy waving and smiling at them through the glass... then wait for it.... wait for it.... the look of "Ahhh fuck I'm looking at balls!". Everyone in on the idea are laughing so hard they are on the floor, which is only appropriate. I put the twins back in the hangar and go out kick the two guys in the ass and call them gay, once again rent the movie.

The night continues on, I think at some point I gave my girlfriend the brain and I remember restraining myself from going out of the bathroom giving the whole house the goat, even though it would've been legendary.

Well any night with a bunch of drunk white guys isn't complete until someones balls are on a passed out friend's face. Well just so happens I'm white, I was drunk and Ryan was passed out... uh oh ;). Apparently the idea was a group decision and for good measure we found a video camera.

So there I am, lining up the chin, getting a good drop position, then I change up my tactics. I put a leg up on the couch and get a swing at it. BAM! Mr. Jones to the face, but the best part is I yell "BANGARANG!" just as the ultimate pimp slap is laid down. As it makes contact, this is all from the video, I jump back and slide across the wood floor yelling BANGARANG! again while putting my junk away as gracefully as possible.

In the morning we all view the video, including the slappee, laugh until we cry. Of course I got hit but I deserved it and I imagine at some point pay back will be a bitch. In the end a story was achieved and that's all that matters, because as I always say "anything for a story".

Good Ideas.... Drunken Times

2006-10-29T22:03:00.000-08:00

A few months ago me and my boss where in Vancouver for a meeting with a large client. We were made to believe it was going to be a long, important meeting. It was none the less important got to meet the top guy there and discuss some ideas, but it was anything but long. We already had a hotel so we figured what could a pitcher of beer at cactus Club hurt, and plus the girls there are hot.
If the rest of the evening had a sponsor it would've been Liquor... "This debacle was brought to you by Liquor, it doesn't just make girls easy!". So one pitcher turned in to two, we head back to the hotel change quickly and make our way down near English bay for some questionable Thai food, it was good but no where near hot enough... my colon thanked them. From there we had some Thai beer, which was an interesting blend. By this point we've both got a buzz going and we've been talking about all kinds of ways to improve the company and any crazy ideas we could think of.

Checking out English Bay was cool, very beautiful spot, since I'd never been grabbed some bellini's from moxies and head out to the Jupiter Lounge. We get there and it wasn't all that busy, and the staff got more then one laugh out of the two of us. Once we found out there was going to be Karokee we decided to stick around for awhile and have a drink or two. I grabbed the waitresses attention and sent her forth to retrieve a menu filled with wonderful concoction of the gods. The name of the game was to have a different drink everytime. Needless to say by the time I butchered Nickle Backs how you remind me and teased a very large black man about being a pussy for not singing we were ready to go. The black guy laughed his ass off, he said he thought I was funny as hell.

Our night kept going the same way, the more we drank the more we came up with ideas to make money. It wasn't until we left Shine in gas town did the idea of all ideas hit me, we had been approached by more then one bum asking for money and we'd say no. Finally we'd been walking and hadn't had a drink for awhile and we were thirsty, so I told one if he could get us somewhere so we could get a drink I'd give him a $20. This dude practically came in his pants when I waved the $20 in his direction. Sure as shit he found us a place and even talked to the bouncers for us. It was here when Bum Tours came into my mind, my boss laughed and went what?! BumTours.com, basic idea was who knows the city better then the people walking it all the time, and who better to show you some sites you wouldn't see from a tour bus. It would be simple, the rich people pay for a bum tour, we'd have "licensed" bums who would get a commission for every tour their gave, getting the client high on fermented rat urine would be optional ;). Win Win for everyone, the bums get money, which could empower them to no longer be bums, and the rest of the world would get a real glimpse at what the other side is all about.

Well this weekend well getting liquored up with my boss and other co-workers at a local pub we talked about bum tours and everyone thought it was a funny idea but knew.... they absolutely knew the domain would be taken and it would be dirty. Well..... it wasn't! I picked it up yesterday, eventually bumtours.com will be the destination all the people will be heading too.

I know I know it's silly, but hey at least I have the domain and can do what ever I want with it!

New look and feel

2006-08-07T16:57:00.000-07:00

Short, but to the point. I've gotten the remotivation to get active with life again, getting it back to what's important.... me! :p

As part of it I'm starting a new gym routine called body for life, and I will be making updates about my progress here on this site.

As part of the kick start to new exciting things I've got a new look for the site. It's kinda of generic for the time being, hope to have it much better in the future.

Anyways webbies ttyl
Love,
Father Mcfeely

mmmmmmmmm Chicken!

2006-06-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

I'm sure some of you people out there have talked once or twice in your sleep. Lets face it we all had that friend growing up that would talk in his sleep, and when we would have sleep overs we'd all wait for him to fall asleep and start saying crazy shit. Our friend would sleep walk as well, he was notorious for it, and he would always do off the wall things. Once he accused us of setting him up with the fat girl from across the street, and god was she the fat girl and a mean bitch on top of it... anyways. Another time he jumped straight out of his sleeping bag and headed for my mom's office, the rest of us followed giggling like school girls until we realized he was about to take a piss in my moms filing cabinet. Yes, this would of been funny, but something told me mother would not only cut his wind off but ours also for laughing and letting him unleash the golden flood gates on her files.

As I got older and started sleeping with girls, and I'm not talking about jack hammering them for the best 10 seconds of their lives but actually sleeping, did I find out I too was a sleep talker. Not only am I a sleep talker but I will get up and do shit, usually never leaving the room but none the less. Most of the time when I'm getting up while sleeping I'm freaking right the fuck out.

Now when I say I'm freaking out I mean I'm usually having dreams about snakes crawling on me or snakes all around me, or some scary little creatures scurrying about my bed. Long and the short of it is I'm usually having nightmares. According to what I've been told I'm usually breathing very rapidly and accusing my partner of throwing the snakes at me or trying to flip the bed over. Apparently this is not amusing for the girls, girls they can get bent out of shape over the littlest things, and really it's not my fault they are tormenting me in my dreams.... wait are women evil... that's another story.

When I'm not thrashing about and trying to flip shit over I'm apparently very funny. One night out of no where I yelled at the top of my lungs "mmmmmmmmm Chicken!" and then a few seconds later "mmmmmmmmmmm Chocolate Sauce!", don't ask me why was I dreaming about chicken's and chocolate sauces.... it's my dream leave me alone you judgemental bastard! Just kidding. One night I was trying to get into my girlfriends dresser, why you ask, well I'll tell you "Cause I needed a pair of women's panties", why again you ask and I shall answer you again "Cause they feel good against my balls!". I have for a long time harassed friends and made comments about how women's panties would feel good against the balls, but doesn't mean I'm going to try a pair on. That morning was nice and awkward "Gene... umm is there something you want to tell me", here I'm thinking going "Oh shit I gave her VD ... wait I don't have VD... did she give me VD...", as she asks that pointed little question "Do you cross dress?". I said "No madam I don't!" as I stormed out with my dignity in what can only be described as a lacey number with next to no support for the little father mcfeely and the choir boys.

So those are just a few of the messed up things I do in my sleep and I hope you are able to get a good laugh out of it. Just be glad I don't sleep with you.... but be sad we don't do it because I can always go home afterwards.

FORUM FUN!

2006-04-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hey all I've got a forum setup now for all kinds of recklessness so enjoy. There is some interesting things going on there already so hope to see you all there soon.

Go check it out at CoG Forum's

Blame Ronald!

2006-03-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

As me and my room mate walked through the mall the other day we started talking about god knows what, as we are prone to do, we saw this woman and she was fat. Now lets clarify here, she wasn't Star Jones fat, but she looked like she was about ... oh lets say 27 years pregnant. It was just centeralized in her gunt... that right I said gunt. Looking at this woman, it started me thinking, "self how the fuck do you let yourself go that badly, honestly!", ends up apparently I was thinking that out loud cause roomie got in on the conversation.

I remember a time after university was done that I was badly out of shape and packing on the pounds. I realized this and I took action, I said "Dickdo! You will be no more! BE GONE!". For you who don't know what a dickdo is, here's the explaination, simply it means your belly hangs out further then your dick do. I remember realizing I was getting fat and sadly out of shape when I would walk my sorry ass, and dickdo, up the stairs in my townhouse and I'd be puffing harder then asthma patient without their inhaler. I read a great book called "Body for Life" and shed the pounds and got in great shape and haven't let myself slip back. It's because of this this I have a problem with people that just sit, and don't have an honest to goodness disorder and blame it on something else.

So back to the lady that started this all, we started talking about how our society is becoming a sad one indeed. We have gotten to a place and time with our evolution that we can sit, get lazy, fat and blame it on someone else, hell if you live in the right water headed country you can even sue over it. People sue Mcdonalds cause Mcdonalds made them fat..... really mcdonalds made you fat? Are you sure it wasn't cause you wanted to be double fisting Big Mac's cause you think they are tastier when you eat two at a time? No?

Lets face it, Ronald didn't kick in your front door, dragged you out by your hair kicking and screaming. He didn't get you into his van and point the gun at you and say "Eat these fucking hamburgers you skinny bitch or I'm going make you feel the clown pain!". People are making him sound like Stewie the bookie... if you don't pay up he's going to kick you down the stairs and shoot you in the knee. Sadly he's not doing that, it's not Ronald, he's not forcing the food on you it's not his fault that you can't take responsiblity for yourself.... I'll let you in on who's fault it is North America... IT'S FUCKING YOURS!

We have grown accustomed to blaming others for us being idiots and not being able to take responsiblitiy for our own actions and the reactions they cause. Our society has proven Darwin wrong, it's not survial of the fittess anymore, it's survial of the biggest drain on society while we let the fittess pay for it. Overall this rant is just about taking responsiblity for your own bullshit, the only thing Ronald might be guilty of is touching a few kids inapproiately... lets face it clowns have wandering hands at the best of times but that can be it's own post.

Bunny racism and it's effects

2006-02-22T22:30:00.000-08:00

Now I know many of you out there look at a bunny and can't get past that it's just so god damn cute how could it be secretly a racist. Well my friends those bunnies are and I've seen it myself, sometimes they are just freaking mean to each other. Maybe I should give a little back story here, where I work there is a shit load of the little buggers, it seems as a few cars and the odd bunny turf war thins the herd they get back to doing what bunnies do best... screw.

When I'd go for walks at lunch I started to notice something, the cream bunnies hang out with cream bunnies and the dark bunnies hang out with each other and the freaky ass zebra bunnies... well no one hangs out with them cause they are freaky, I'd almost say they are the Alabamians of the bunny population like one two man incest screw fests lead to something that resembles an alpaca / bunny hybrid.

So starting to notice the segregation between the bunny population this made me wonder… who started it and why! Could it be like the Americans the cream colored ones brought the dark ones over from the zoo to hunt for their food, basically be their unpaid biatchs. This theory didn’t stick for long as it appeared the darker ones were no dumb bunnies, sorry had to. These ones always have the biggest pile of food on their turf, people would leave large amounts of uneaten veggies and other food all over in piles where the bunnies hang out, on a side note it’s kinda sad that the local bunnies eat better then the local homeless people… but that’s not for this story.

Now I hadn’t seen any bunny drive by’s or thumpin’s in a while but one day as I went to the gym I saw four bunnies watching two bunnies, a cream one and a dark one, beating the royal shit out of each other. The fur was literally flying I’d never seen or knew bunnies to be so violent. I have watch cats fight before and they had nothing on the bunnies, tuffs of fur just flying. I didn’t stick around and watch who won but a few days later noticed a dark one laying feet up, guess rabbits feet aren’t as lucky as one thought. Since that day I hadn’t seen any interaction between the different colors. I thought maybe tensions where high and the hate was just too much for either side to get past.

As I walked to my car today I was hit with a surprise, either a few of the bunnies got jungle fever or there are some that are leading the way to a future where the color of a bunnies fur no longer matters. I suspect the latter of the two theories are correct cause I noticed more cream bunnies playing with some dark ones outside of the gym. So it is beginning to appear as if there is hope that the open minded bunnies are able to get past their close minded counter-parts and overcome colors, possible religious issues and economic standings to forge a bright new future together as one race. Just imagine it a species not trying to kill each other for idiotic reasoning’s… so strange there could be lessons to learn through the bunnies.

NEW SITE BOO YA!

2006-02-20T22:20:00.000-08:00

To show some good faith to the people who visit this place everyonce and awhile and go "What the duece, it says continuous this isn't continuous." Well here's some proof it's going to be, http://www.chroniclesofgene.com is the new home where all kinds of craziness will be documented and examined. I hope to include some new features, right and wrong (place for arguments to be heard by a panel of judges and resolved), perhaps a bulletin board and some extra blogging about sex and weightlifting ;) (little adam sandler reference there). So hope to see you all very soon.

Life Partners.... WHAT?!

2005-12-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

Last night was a new one by me. It started out as any other weekend night with the gang. A bunch of us met up at the Sturg for some beer and laughs. Before long a few us decided it was time to shake what our mothers gave us. We had a few choices, Gotcha's or Flash Backs, and being the most indecisive group possible we had to flip a credit card, we couldn't find a quarter, and it ended up being a Flash Back's night. We roll in to flash backs and the night starts off strong, great energy in the air dance floor is busy, not packed but nicely busy. As always it's me Ryan and Sean out there shaking our asses, which always leads to at least one group of women coming up and commenting on the fact we look good and are good dancers, as always thank you ladies ;)

This time was a little different though, and let me explain how. A coug taps me on the shoulder, no this isn't the different part yet, she goes to me "Is that your guy, you know are you together, is that your life partner?" Me "Uhhh what? Oh OH! No no that's just my buddy" coug "That's alright if he's your life partner, don't get defensive" Me "No no no not like that at all just guys that like to dance" coug "Well you're very good looking guys and very good dancers so continue on". I tell Sean about what the coug said we have a good laugh and continue on with the night. Overall it was an alright night nothing, Ryan was shakin it with a blonde coug that looked like Chloe off of Smallville... you go you animal you ;).

God I really hope the next story is about me being naked or accused of having a life partner hahaha one can only hope.

Sometimes Pranks Just Happen

2005-12-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a sad sad day, I've been had. Anyone that knows me knows that I like a good joke more then the next guy and I'm not above pulling a prank or two. Now normally my friends will resort to making some lame comment about my grammar, me being small or something or try to get me in shit with my girlfriend... always unoriginal and boring.

Not this time though powered with the spite of my girlfriend and the "comic genius" of my friends and co-workers the ultimate smack down has been laid down. In all honestly I'm able to laugh about it cause, lets face it they got me fucking good. So lets take a trip down memory lane to see why my girlfriend had a reason to do what she did..... *time warp oh yeah giddy*

So it's a bright sunny day, me, Tasha (yes the same girlfriend that fell ass first into the toilet) and Ryan Smylski(my roommate... THE CUDDLER) are at the water slides enjoying the day of water and sun. We are going down the tube ride again for the umteenith time, and I'm floating beside Tasha and I go "Self, I wonder if I undo her top if she'd notice" so I do and she doesn't, ride continues and I forget about it. We get to the bottom of the ride, one big splash and Tasha has now flashed a small child and few eager on lookers. She confused as to why her top came off.... and then I remember what I did and try to keep a straight face but could not. Lets face it as far as pranks go that's a good one, even though it did slip my mind.

Now lets jump to this last weekend, little did I know Tasha, Ryan and Sean Glendinning (Yes the same Sean from the ball dropping article) had been discussing something behind my back. Tasha had came up with the idea to tie me up and write bitch across my chest and let those two get some pictures for notoriety. Of course those two go along with it... why not it's no effort for them so that works. So Tasha talks me into a little game of tie up, blind folds me and gets a sharpie. Proceeds to write the words BITCH across my chest and goes "I'm really sorry but I have to..." as she heads to the door to get Ryan. First off Ryan was almost too lazy to get out of the chair to come and take the pictures but she talked him into it. So tied down and my swim suit area covered up he snaps some pictures with Tasha's camera.

I knew I was screwed so not much I could do but lay there and let the pictures happen and realize I've been had. What I don't realize is that it's far from over, Tasha takes the camera home, gets the pictures off it, sends them to me, Ryan and Sean. Ryan shows some coworkers, and so they decide to post some pictures on a modeling site.... and by they I mean the co-workers not Ryan... no effort policy folks. So pictures are posted, Sean circulates to about 25 people on his email list.

Overall folks I was had and it's funny as hell and that is why I'm posting the link to where they put the pictures. Enjoy, comment often and click away ;)

http://www.onemodelplace.com/member.cfm?ID=214445

Dropping the Ball

2005-11-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

We've all been there at one time or another, you've gotten yourself into a desirable situation, everything is firing on all cylinders but yet somehow you find yourself dropping the ball. It's at this point the little red guy on your shoulder yells "WELL FUCK!" and the little white guy is looking at the red one saying "He's got a point jackass WTF!".

I have a friend who is a master at dropping the ball, seriously the boy has made it into an art and it is something to watch. Don't worry I have a wonderful example and it starts on a dark and stormy.... wait wrong story.

So the night starts of at my friends place, lets call him "Sean" for the sake of the story, me and my room mate arrive with X men 2 in hand ready to play some Xbox before heading out for a night of dancing and drinking at the bar. All is going according to schedule, we're all geeked out and decided it's time to head to the bar. We roll in as usual, me looking around seeing what's happening, my room mate find some flaw on some beautiful woman.... don't ask me I think he has issues, and Sean heading to the bar to grab the first round of drinks.

Me and Sean proceed to scope out the talent of the night, lets face it there was a few targets for my single friends to approach if need be. So Sean and I hit the floor and before long some girls have joined us as usual commenting on our dancing skills. I bust out some jokes and they laugh, Sean flirts and they blush, it's all good. Night goes on, Sean notices a young lady he'd like to get to know ... if you know what I mean... giddy, anyways we dance our way towards their general directions. Next thing you know this girl and her friends are in our group dancing and smile.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Self do you think Sean or the room mate talked to any of these girls?", the easy answer is two parts A) My room mate wouldn't start a conversation cause it goes strictly against the no effort policy B) Sean won't talk to her cause he's interested. So we continue dancing, I walk off to get some water and the boys soon follow. As I look back I can see one of the girls stopping Sean, she was giving him the typical "You're hot and good dancer you might be good enough..." speech, he quickly spins it into a golden opprunity to meet the girl he's interested in. Things are looking up at this point, it might be a ball dropping free night.... I said might. Sean does his thing and then makes his mistake "Save me a dance for later" girl "Ok" :D. As the "A Squad" congregates, it's the name we've given our group, we discuss what just happened and right on and figure out now would be a good time to get back out there, well guess what... that's right girl and her friends gone, A Squad is left empty handed... at least for right now.

Now take a second and review his mistake can you see where it is? No... well then chances are you've done it too. He has an in, has the girl smiling and then walks away.... with hardly any repour made and most importantly no dance. What he should've done is taken her to the dance floor and danced a few songs with her, flirt it up and then tell her he needs to catch up with his friends but would really like to continue this conversation and score her email or digits to have some stimulating conversation over a cup of something warm.

What was going through his head you wonder... well stop wondering cause it's been through yours more times then you care to remember also. Once again too much importance was put on this one girl, which in turn placed unneeded pressure and doubt which in turn clouded the judgement and the relaxed feeling. Now I know Sean and others might read this and think I'm dogging on my boy... well hell that's what friends do hehehe... but also want to point out that no matter the situation always go in not expecting a damn thing, trust me it's amazing the results. If it helps work with things like "You're going to make a great friend" or "This is the start of a beautiful friendship" it relays that your not going to cling on the girl and also keeps you relaxed cause that's all you're looking for.... but secretly we know the truth ;)

Anyways happy hunting and I know Sean will do even more amazing next time as I've seen him do numerous times in the past!

The Phantom Stink

2005-10-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

A few days back me and Ryan had a rude surprise waiting for us as we entered our apartment. He walks in first and I walk in behind him and am taken aback by a smell so foul and wrong you know it had to involve mexican food somehow. As I pass the threshold into our place my nostrals alert me "Someone has dropped a funky ass smell in here". So of course I instantly accuse Ryan, who is a farting machine... but that's another story, of releasing something unholy from his ass. He pleads innocence and the investigation is on.

Ryan says the smell is getting stronger near the bathroom. I'll admit it I thought my girlfriend had left a 4 day old nacho beer log in the toilet as punishment for threating to put her wet ass story on the net. Apon reaching the bathroom the smell is just so bad that you have to call in a friend to smell it cause... well cause that's what friends do hehehe. Ryan flushs the toilet and I go "So what the hell was in there" as the smell is already disappearing, he says "Nothing at all, that's so weird the smell was coming from here I swear."

So now our place is a mystical hot spot, sadly Casper seems to not be so friendly.. doesn't the transparent asshole know about a courtesy flush or two. Honestly and we haven't had a mysterious smell like that since, all other smells have be cataloged and accounted for.

Proof is in the Wetis Anusis

2005-10-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

So as you can imagine commenting on females who refuse to put the seat down got some great reactions and has caused a few conversations about the topic. It seems men have some insight for you special females, as my friend Chris put it "When I go to the bathroom for a sit down job, I first look at the toilet seat and see if the seat is up I know it needs to be down or else *splash*, so simple".

Then on the other hand I had my girl friend being quiet vocal about how her delicate hands shouldn't be touching the toilet seat cause it's dirty. She has a little girl just over 3 and my girlfriend, for what ever reason, admit that she doesn't teach her to put the seat down for the reason just stated. I laughed and went "While do you want her to experience wetis anusis?". You can imagine she said No and pointed at the toilet seat.

Now for the humor of it all, my girlfriend was sleeping over at my place. Me and my room mate get up and go to work. She gets up sometime later stumbles in to the bathroom, doesn't turn on the light, barely opens her eyes, drops her drawers and sits down. SPLASH! She said she couldn't figure out why her ass was wet at first then it dawned on her..... it's a good thing she's cute hehehe. Well she reluctantly told me about this story and I proceeded to laugh my ass off going "See I was right you didn't even look ahahahahah WETIS ANUSIS".

I just had to share that one single female had proven all of what I wrote down as being right in a matter of one week. What should we prove next week? Well I should have more time to write now that I mostly just cut myself off from sex, but as I always say "Sometimes having the story is worth it!"

Women + Toilet Seats = Wet Asses

2005-10-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

Now ladies before I get started, I want you to know that I love you all very very much because without you my hand would be very very rare and if I'm to believe what my mother would yell as she banged on the bathroom door I'd also be blind as a bloody bat. That said it astonishes me how so many smart, sexy and powerful women have failed to master the simplest of all their demons.... that's right the toilet seat. All the women in my life have all said the same thing "Gene the toilet seat is still up!" and I always reply with "Ok, well it does go down you know hehe" and if I don't put it down and they don't know to put the seat down and when they get their arses wet it's my fault. This always makes me pause and think, there isn't a man out there that has gotten his ass wet when he runs off to his fortress of solitude to do his dirty little business, and hell we only have to sit for half of our bathroom trips. Ladies on the other hand have to sit down every time but yet this concept of 'No toilet seat means I'll get a wet who-who' has escaped them. I can only assume as young girls they learning about the mysteries that surround the toilet that your mothers must of told you about the toilet fairy. The toilet fairy comes in to the bathroom before you do and puts the seat down, thus removing such manual labor from your hands.... wouldn't want you to break a nail.

Now what I'm thinking is that your mothers told you always trust in the toilet fairy and not to even look or get some kind of confirmation before dropping your pants and squatting down to let loose.... maybe that should've be taught for other aspects of your life... opps off track. So at this point I'm picturing that every women walks into the bathroom, closes the door, shuts her eyes, drops her pants, backs up to the toilet, sits and does her business all the time never doubting the toilet fairy would punish them with a splash of cold aqua on their under carriage. Once and awhile the toilet fairy delivers you the equivalent of a piece of coal for Christmas, yes the toilet fairy is like Santa. The toilet fairy knows when your wake and when your sleeping and when you've been bad or good.... honestly sounds like a creepy fucker personally. So the toilet seat doesn't make it to the sitting position, yet sadly you do and *SPLASH* wetis anusis... it's Latin trust me ;).

Now ladies I'm here to free you from the grip, that little bastard, Toilet fairy has on you. I'm going to let you in on a secret passed down from father to son. It's very simple any fool could do it ;) and just 3 simple little steps:
Step 1: Reach out your hand
Step 2: Place hand on toilet seat
Step 3: Pull toilet seat down
I know it's going to blow your minds at first but trust me you'll feel so much better not to have that reliance on the Toilet fairy anymore. Now if you get a wet ass it's your fault, so don't point and stomp at me, we're not in the jungle lady! :P

To Comment or Not to comment that is the question

2005-09-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

As I sit here watching Mind Freak and basically being lazy and chillin I decided to see how my blog was doing since I've had it in my msn name and see what kind of results I've gotten from google. You could almost feel the excitment in the air as I hastily logged in, I was more shaken and nervous then a 36 year virgin losing his virginity in his mothers dark dank basement. The excitiment was building as I fumbled with the password, I strike the enter key and see I've had 160+ page impressions, that alone was amazing. Then I check out the dollar value... $1.39 made me gasp with "What the fuck is this! only 30 clicks!" I think to myself, I've heard nothing but "Man your blog is hilarious" and I go "Awww thanks glad you enjoyed it" as I'm secretly thinking "You better of clicked you son of a bi....." anywaaaaaays. Ends up they didn't, ok lets face it I wasn't going to make much but hey at least I got some great responses. WAIT THERE'S MORE! I get over the low clicks, and figure at least some had to of left a comment or two. Now once again I get excitied like Joe Joe the circus boy at christmas rubbing the shiny wraping paper. I load the site and sweet fuck one, one comment. Now I got to give a shout out to gowardo and a thanks for the comment, but the rest of you lazy buggers couldn't follow suit. All I ask for is some comments, hell you don't even need to make me money, but it's always good to know what your doing is good and other people can see that they aren't alone in getting a laugh.

So in short show the love people show the LOVE.