Posted on Monday, March 24, 2008 by Father McFeely
Who watch How I Met Your Mother Tonight? Of course you did cause Britney Spears was on it tonight! Oh my god BRITNEY! BRITNEYGASM .... yawn. The network was hyping this episode up so much, everyone was going on and on about how she was just so spectacular she was, yada yada yada.
I know somehow I seem to always be bitching about Britney getting her shit together, and don't get me wrong she seemed very together for a change and this rant is actually not about her but it's about how much hype there was around this 30 minutes of glory. You know when a movie trailer shows all the best parts of the movie, but you only realize this after you've wasted the $10, well that was tonight's episode with Britney. I found myself going "There's got to be something pivotal with her coming up" but it never did. All 5 lines she had was not worth the freakin bullshit prime time hype. She played a very minor role in the entire story... heres the end Barney fucks her cause it's what Barney does. The real story was with Ted and the cute blonde doctor from Scrubs ... yes Becky Connor (Five points if you can tell me where that reference is from).
It was a great show, laughed my ass off but deep down I was once again disappointed by another American Corporate attention whore machine begging for my time, and to it I say bugger off! It was like being in bed with a chick from the bar claiming to be a real dirty bitch and just as she's about to go down on you she goes "Yeah you like that cause this is my first time, am I doing good? Are you going to call me again? Can we just cuddle?", basically leaves you half hard and confused and where's the fun in that?
You went away for 3 months and you try to win me back with this? I think I'll just stick to my Thursday night line up and get back to Guitar Hero 3 thank you very much at least it knows how to make me happy!
Posted on Monday, September 10, 2007 by Father McFeely
If anyone had the chance to watch Britney Spears in the MTV awards show last night, you will all understand why her name will continue to be in the tabloids. I had a brief moment of hope for Brit when I heard her new single, I found myself tapping my foot and bobbing my head to the beat. How dare she make me enjoy her catchy club music! I got over it.
Sadly Brit's song must of been a studio only track based on her performance she gave last night. To say she looked like a lost puppy on the highway would be an under statement. The song if you haven't heard it yet is called Gimme More, it's fast and up beat, Brit was anything but that. She moved so slow it was actually painful watch, I say move because what she was doing was far from dancing. Her backup dancers were ripping it up while she shuffled stepped around the stage. The highlight of her routine was when one of the backup dancers got to feel her up, I'm sure he felt special.
Who ever was in charge of Brit's wardrobe should be fired on the spot. I suspect they were going for sexy but they missed the mark by I'd say about a good 3.5 to 4.5 years. The outfit simply just didn't go with her body type and it didn't get the response from my wang I'm sure it was suppose to. In fact my wang wants to write an angry letter to management about the incident. Like come on a sequined bra and panties on a chick who's curves have long faded, it was just wrong!
Ashley Simpson got in so much flack for lip syncing but this seems to be the least of the comments flying around the internet. It was a worse lip sync job since Rihanna was on "So you think you can dance". Brit had to be on something cause she was moving in slow motion, they didn't zoom in on her for a reason and she would cover her mouth and I'm sure it wasn't just cause her breath was a little ripe.
Brit my plea goes out to you to clean up your life girl, you had such promise and you can do so much better. You still have a chance to turn your life around, look at Robert Downey Jr. he's freakin Iron Man now so if he can do it so can you. Stop pushing your support away, listen to your mother and take care of those kids and the masses will soon forget as they always do.